If you don’t mind indulging me, here is the other section I have partially written. It’s meant to be at the point when the prodigal son finally comes back and sees his father again for the first time.

“I thought he was going to die right in front of me. It can’t be healthy when someone is breathing like that. Gasping as if every breath might be his last. I think I read somewhere that it can be a sign of major illness, when someone acts like they can’t get a lungful of air. Everything from asthma to emphysema to who knows what other medical conditions that I can’t even pronounce, much less understand. The fact that he collapsed right then and there didn’t exactly make things look any more rosy.

I could just see the headlines in my mind, “Long-lost playboy son returns, angry father dies of heart attack.” And that’s if I was extraordinarily lucky. The supermarket tabloids would have a heyday for sure. Pictures of my father and I at our worst, carefully photoshopped to make an already horrendous tragedy even worse. Just what I don’t need, after I finally decide to come crawling back to beg for a janitorial position in his factory at the far end of town.

I’d throw in the old cliche about adding insult to injury, but the injury would actually be my father’s death, and the insult would be that it happened the moment he saw me again, after all those years of silence. Unless you counted seeing my face while buying groceries at the store, usually because they caught me snorting coke with some supermodel…again… After a few years though, even the tabloids lost interest in me.”

Okay, here is the piece Jeff asked us to write for Section 1.1 - I put it in the forum for that section, but hadn’t discovered this part at that point. Anyhow, here is my piece. I’d love your feedback, and if you want me to return the favour at some point I’d love to help out. That’s what this community is for after all.

It’s called “Life like writing”

I’ve written for so long, it’s almost become second nature to me. I love the art, the craft of writing - but the thought of writing is always what daunts me. The idea of having to work hours and hours crafting a piece without any guarantee of getting a positive response.

In many ways, I find writing to be much like life.

You put all the effort in, you put time, energy and money, and invest yourself in it. But at the end of the day, there’s no guarantee you will get the outcome you wanted.

Me? I’d always wanted to write loads of books, get invited to speak, and have a hugely successful blog. There is a little child inside of me which simply wanted to be the best. Growing up I was always the last at everything worth having, and first with all the circumstances no one chose.

First to be in a broken home, first to have an very unwell parent with a disability, first to get bullied and not be able to do anything.

First to lose a parent.

When all this happens at a young age it marks you. The scars it leaves cast a long shadow.

You see I know writing won’t satisfy. It won’t complete me. It won’t make my life fulfilled. Neither will success or achievement. These are just lies fed to us by consumerism, in a secular culture.

Being a successful writer and speaker would be awesome - but not because I’d somehow ‘be the best’. But simply because it would mean I’m getting the chance to have a positive impact on someone else’s life. To share something I believe needs to be shared with the world.

It’s such a privilege, being able to impact someone else’s life. To have something you’ve created be able to change someone’s life for the better, and hear about it - it’s an amazing feeling.

It’s humbling, because most of the time I either feel like I’m screwing up or like my writing isn’t going to have an impact on anyone.

I wrote a guest post for another blog on my experience of grief, the lessons I learned and the way it’s impacted me. Now to me this was simply telling my story and sharing it - in the (vain) hope someone would be impacted.

The response I got was amazing. People tweeting and commenting on how much the story moved them, how it was perfect timing for circumstances in their lives at the current time, and how they could ‘feel my heartbeat’ in my writing.

It really took me aback. You’d think I’d be all blown away and satisfied, my ego boosted and feeling all proud of myself.

I wasn’t.

I couldn’t quite deal with it. It was genuinely disconcerting.

As I pondered this, I began to understand one simple truth.

Whatever success we have - we’re still going to be the same person at the end of the day.

I could sell a million books and get one hundred thousand readers on my blog - but I’m still going to be me when I go to bed in the evening.

I’m still going to get up in the morning and have to shower and clean my teeth. I’m still going to have all the same insecurities, doubts and fears as I had the day before.

I still occasionally go to the unhealthy fantasy career. But you know what, I’m starting to visit this world less and less. Because the reality of my story, with all it’s twists and turns, with all the unexpected events I encounter, is much more interesting.

I write now not because I want to be better than anyone else. I write because I love writing, and because I have a message I want to share. I have experiences which I can use to serve and encourage others in their journeys, and I love that process.

Life is like writing. Like this very piece, you can plan it to go one way and then it goes off in a way which is different - and usually better, than you ever expected or imagined.

Don’t you think?

Okay - time for your feedback. Be totally honest. I can take it.

What makes this piece unique?

What could I do more/less of?

How can I improve?

Looking forward (I think) to your feedback. (Please remember I literally wrote this as steam of consciousness, unplanned and its the first draft.)

Wow, thanks Jeff. I wrote this piece literally almost without thinking about it. I had no idea what to write when I did the piece you asked us to do for Module 1, and so I just began total stream of consciousness and this is basically what came out. No plan at all, this just came out. I may publish it on my blog after what you’ve said - thanks so much.

Just out of interest, what is it exactly that makes this piece so good, and different from some of the content of mine you’ve seen before?

One other thing guys - my blog’s Facebook page is here: https://www.facebook.com/pages/James-Prescott/228945713978

My blog is http://www.jamesprescott.co.uk & my Twitter is https://twitter.com/JamesPrescott77

Enjoying getting to know you all, hope you’re all loving the course.

No worries, glad I can help! I’ll definitely keep you posted as things unfold. Taking another section of the story to my critique group tonight. *gulp* And I’ll definitely have a look at your blog, as soon as I can. (the internet is messed up where I am right now, alas.)

Here’s a piece I’m working on for breakingmuscle.com. It’s on fitness and the military.

How to Workout like a Soldier
Ryan McRae

I’ve been a contractor for five months in Afghanistan and when I landed here, and headed to the gym, I expected the gyms to be really high tech. Since I’ve been assigned to train soldiers on a 1.2 million truck that emits radiation, I expect the gyms to have the same sci-fi feel. I travel from military base to base across the expanse of Afghanistan and I imagined I’d find some super high quality equipment, treadmills that you’d find on Star Trek and scales that would measure your body fat and tell you exactly what you needed to do to fix it.

I didn’t find that at all.

Don’t get me wrong. The gyms are good. You’ll find plenty of dumbbells and weights, some kettlebells (rare) and treadmills. Good elliptical machines along with a million bottles of water.

It’s just basic. And at first I scoffed, but then I realized: simplicity works.
As I’ve been stumbling on the treadmill like a tranquilized bear trying to get some mileage, I’ve observed the habitat of these American soldiers (Army, Navy, Air Force or Marines) these heroes I see everyday. These are women and men who are far from home. I see them lug AK-45s across their chests day in and day out. They lack sleep and miss their families. And they serve our country never expecting a thank you, a handshake or a pat on the back.

And here they are hitting the gym. They are fulfilling their “PT” (physical training) requirement, but they hit the gym with passion and drive.

It was then I realized that the equipment doesn’t matter at all. It’s the heart and mind of the soldier that produces results. If you gave them two truck tires, a chin up bar and a bowling ball, they’d figure out a way to not only make it work, but to smoke whoever goes to the million-machine workout place that gives you a wheatgrass smoothie after your 15 minutes of pilates.

Here are some of my notes on their passion and drive and how they find and maintain it; these may help you get motivated to hit the gym and pursue fitness.

• Go together. These soldiers have battle buddies that are committed to each other’s health. The stronger they both are, the better they are for survival. Find someone to go to the gym with. If someone’s is counting on you, you are more likely to go.
• Write it down. There are these standard green notebooks soldiers carry around and record their workout. They take notes and jot down everything they do in the gym. Keep a journal of your workouts. I put mine on an Excel spreadsheet.
• Encouraging. I expected that soldiers would make snide comments if their buddy couldn’t do another pull up. By no means. They encourage instead of cajole. Be aware of the talk you not only give your workout buddy, but yourself. If you got up, and got to the gym, keep all your talk positive.
• Have a Reason. These soldiers are in the gym for survival. They want to be able to endure the terrain and the challenges that are outside the wire of the base. Every workout has a purpose: Strong soldiers survive. Have a goal and a reason that you are working out. Prepping for the beach? Want to match your eHarmony data? If you know why you’re in the gym, you’ll stay longer.
• Simple. Simple. Simple. These machines aren’t complex. These soldiers keep the workouts simple and varied. Pushups, burpees, sit ups and air squats are the main ingredients of their workouts. Keep your workouts simple. If you are spending more time looking up different routines than working out, that might be a problem.

I find no lack of inspiration in the gym. As I’m trying to increase my pace, and all the voices in my head join in the chorus of, “You’re a Hack, McRae! Go eat a doughnut!” I look at these soldiers and think, if they can be here, away from their families, I can run another quarter mile. If they can wake up at 0400 hours, go outside the base and look for insurgents, I can put down the fork. If these women and men, who are guarding our freedom, work 14 hour days and then head to the gym, I have no excuse whatsoever.

And well, neither do you.